Believe it or Not...

Believe it or not, with all I know, and all I do - I overate this past
holiday season - and it sucks! It feels bad all around - physically and mentally
– immediately, and later, too.

Did you pig out? Why do you think we do? Here’s why, I think, and three
things that I believe will help us so that we never do it again. Maybe you
didn’t overdo it with food and/or drink this year. I hope you didn’t, and so,
were able to escape the physical discomfort and emotional remorse that seem to
be equal partners in the practice of eating way beyond contentment.

I had that terrible night’s sleep, that next day food hangover, that praying
for relief and restraint at my next party, and the fear that no matter how hard
I wished it not to happen again, it very likely would – probably at my next big
social/eating shindig.

The terrible truth is, I sort of thought myself "above" all that. I fancied
myself immune from overindulgence/over-consumption/out-of-control eating, since
much of the time I feel that I am. But, oh, how wrong I can be about me. I am no
more immune or above these very human behaviors, which so brilliantly mask other
feelings and behaviors - like social discomfort, anxiety and shyness – than I am
able to spread my wings and fly.

I have come to realize that the (over) eating – though partially just
fall-out from the holiday party/delectable food choice madness – is more - for
me. I do recognize that “stuffing” myself is sometimes more about what I am
trying to avoid than what I seem to be enjoying (and ingesting).

In fact, I think for the most part I am just plain uncomfortable, shy, or out
of sorts in the environment I find myself in, and somehow can’t imagine how to,
or remember (in that moment) how to make myself feel better, so I eat lots and
lots of delicious treats.

This gives me something to do, focus on, and even enjoy in the short term,
but then I feel full, numb, and tired. And though I can barely feel the original
un-ease for the new discomfort I have caused myself (mission accomplished?), I
am now unhappy with my choices, uncomfortable in my clothes, and wishing I had
stopped, slowed down, or taken a detour of some kind so as to NOT have gotten
myself into this uncomfortable space.

How do we do it differently? Truth be told – I do know a better way than the
way I went this past holiday season. And though what I am about to tell you
sounds ridiculously simple (and at the same time weirdly difficult), I am pretty
sure that if you and I follow these few tips next year (or next weekend), we
won’t have to endure any more holiday/food hangovers.

1. Predict and Prepare. We already know that social gatherings/parties make
us somewhat uneasy, so, Think/Plan food choices – a) take a bird’s eye look at
the food and choose what you will eat (plan it in your head, then make a plate)
rather than grazing at will and unconsciously devouring delicacies until you
have had way too much, b) take someone with you that will make you, and the
party, more comfortable, and fun for you, c) share your feelings with that
person, or someone else at the event that you can confide in (trust me, more
people than you know feel this dis-ease at parties). If you can do this, the
feelings won’t fester and get worse as the night goes on.

2. Discuss it with a trusted friend before and after and Write about it too.
I have one friend who knows me better than anyone and when I tell her what is,
or has been going on with me, she can usually say something like: this has
happened to you before – remember when…and at that point I can start to see a
pattern and look for ways (often with my trusted friend’s help) to remedy my
actions and soothe and change my feelings and actions. Then I write. Even if I
feel I have nothing to write, I sit with pen and paper and try to express my
feelings, ask for help, even just describe it all on the page so that maybe
something is illuminated, something I need to know, something that I can learn
from. This way, I don’t just change the behavior for one party – I change the
behavior.

3. Don’t go to the other extreme – don’t put yourself on a crazy crash diet
or punish yourself in any other way to try to compensate for whatever has
occurred. Let it go. You will prolong the negative feelings and even exacerbate
the entire event if you take yourself out for a beating after you have already
done something that makes you feel badly about you. Take compassionate, useful,
and productive steps (as mentioned above), and move on with the knowing that you
have made progress in preventing this from happening again.

You really don’t have to have the same negative experience ever again –
especially if you follow the suggestions in No. 1 and No. 2 above. It’s 2007
and, well, every day is a new day and a new opportunity to start over. And you
know how I talk about Staying on the Road, and not starting and
stopping your training. You know that my belief and training practices for
Training For Life are all about the flow and continuum of conditioning that we
must adhere to in order to best train for the longest, most important event of
all – our lives.

But we do have, within each day, and each week, the opportunity to begin
again – and this is very much a part of Staying on the Road and Training For
Life – it is refinement that I am proposing rather than the screw up/fall off
the wagon/begin again on Monday way. Look at your life and train with me as
though the goodness of your life depended on it – because it does.

Everything that we train for – whether it is weight loss or more comfortable
eating practices – affects the quality of life that we live every day - so what
could be more important than Training for Life? Happy Trails and Have a Great
Week - Debbie Rocker